As Greta's Selfie Flotilla Approaches Gaza, the "Sailors" Are Panicking | WATCH

Oh, Greta Thunberg, eternal teen prophet of doom, now captaining a leaky armada of virtue-signaling dinghies straight into the Mediterranean meat grinder. As the so-called Global Sumud Flotilla chugs toward Gaza like a fleet of overpriced eco-toys, it's not just courting disaster; it's begging for it, all while masquerading as a humanitarian lifeline.

This isn't aid; it's a taxpayer-funded tantrum, a Hamas-backed photo op on borrowed boats, primed to erupt into the next international incident because nothing says "peace" like provoking a blockade with a cargo of canned beans and Instagram influencers.Let's set the scene for this farce.

Launched in a staggered spectacle from Barcelona on September 1 (because why synchronize when you can drag it out for maximum drama), the "flotilla" (if you can call a ragtag parade of 44 to 52 mismatched vessels a fleet) has been limping along like a hungover cruise ship. Stops in Tunisia for "expansions" (read: more selfies), Crete for "repairs" and it's halted yet again off Greece after an engine room leak turned the lead boat into a floating kiddie pool.

Watch as Greta spews more nonsense, with her giant selfie flotilla nearing Israeli waters.

Thunberg, ever the drama queen, denies it's a "publicity stunt," insisting, "No one would risk their lives for a publicity stunt."

Really, Greta? With your history of yacht-hopping hypocrisy (remember that private jet joyride to COP15?) this is peak performative piety. The aid? A paltry 300 tons of rice and meds for a strip where famine has already claimed thousands, thanks to Hamas's war machine hoarding supplies.

Symbolic? Sure. Effective? About as useful as Thunberg's pigtails in a hurricane.But here's the kicker that turns this clown show into a potential catastrophe: It's not just leaky; it's laced with terror ties. Fresh docs seized by the IDF in Gaza, revealed today by Israel's Foreign Ministry, expose the whole operation as a Hamas slush fund.

We're talking direct links from Ismail Haniyeh's desk to the Palestinian Conference for Palestinians Abroad (PCPA), a Hamas front masquerading as a "civilian" outfit. Ships owned by Cyber Neptune, a Spanish shell company run by Hamas operative Saif Abu Kashk, form the backbone of this "peace armada."

Zaher Birawi, the UK-based flotilla ringleader? A card-carrying Hamas hack who's orchestrated these provocations for 15 years. X is ablaze with the revelation: "Greta is funded by Hamas," blasts one viral thread, with users like @FutureFred1 branding the crew "21st-century Nazis." LegatusLegXIV hammers it home: "The entire org behind Thunberg has misled millions."

Thunberg, ousted from leadership amid infighting back on September 21, is now just a figurehead on a terror-tainted tub.

Radios hijacked with ABBA tunes? That's Israel trolling the Swedish scold, but the real soundtrack will be Shayetet 13 commandos rappelling aboard in the dead of night.

Escorts from Italy, Spain, and Turkey might deter a bloodbath—unlike the 2010 Mavi Marmara massacre, where 10 died in a deck brawl—but with 500 activists (including MEPs and actors like Liam Cunningham) primed for "nonviolent resistance," one wrong shove and it's viral carnage.

Protests in 44 countries? Cute. But when the IDF tows this tub to Ashdod for "inspections" and deportations, expect UN screeching, EU hand-wringing, and Thunberg live-tweeting from a holding cell: "The world has lost its humanity—hashtag FreeGaza."Thunberg & Co. rejected every olive branch: Italy's Vatican-mediated Cyprus handover? Nah, that'd "legitimize the siege."

Ashkelon port offers? Crickets. This isn't about feeding kids; it's about feeding egos and Hamas's narrative. As one X user snarks, "Greta going home soon." But not before sparking headlines that drown out real aid efforts—like the 10,000 tons rotting in Egyptian warehouses because Hamas diverts it for tunnels and terror.

Greta, darling, your "hope and solidarity" is a siren song for slaughter. Turn back before your leaky legacy becomes a blood-soaked sequel to 2010. The world doesn't need more martyrs; it needs you to grow up. But hey, at least the selfies will be epic, from a jail in Ashdod.