Avinatan Or, freed from Hamas captivity in Gaza, has described the spiritual and psychological battle he waged alone, underground, while he was held hostage by Hamas.
In an interview with Channel 12's investigative program Uvda, Or described a direct, unvarnished conversation he held with God on day 79 of his captivity, a monologue rooted in the mitzvah of honoring parents, which he says he kept faithfully even after he removed his kippah years earlier and stopped speaking to God for seven years.
"I'm talking to You straight"
Or recounted the prayer he said that day in captivity:
"On day 79, I'm talking to God and I say to Him: I know I haven't spoken to You at all for seven years, and I know it's hypocritical to come and talk to You now, because suddenly when I need something, suddenly I come to You.
And I can go even further than that, there's a good chance that when I get out of here, I'll forget You again. So I'm not going to tell You stories; I'm talking to You straight. In the Torah, in the Ten Commandments, it says, 'Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long.'
That's a part I tried hard to keep, even before October 7th. I tried very hard to be there for my parents, I tried very hard to honor them, even after I took off my kippah. And now You can fulfill the part about 'that your days may be long,' and the continuation of the verse is 'upon the land', not beneath the land. I did my part; now it's Your turn."
