Greetings to Likud's parliamentary hopefuls who didn't secure a realistic spot on the list. The day after the primaries, here's a complimentary list, not for the Knesset, of suggestions for how to spend the unlimited free time that has suddenly, and involuntarily, opened up in your schedule.
The Day After
After Losing a Likud Primary
Not everyone can win. When the political celebration ends and the Knesset seat becomes a living room couch, defeated candidates face an unexpected abundance of free time
1. Learn home cooking instead of cooking deals: Trade negotiations with vote contractors for a professional culinary course. At least when you make a deal in the kitchen, it tastes good in the end.
2. Delete 15,000 contacts from your phone: Rediscover inner peace by clearing out thousands of party activists from WhatsApp, the same people who received your recorded messages at 2 A.M. and didn't even vote for you.
3. Launch a podcast titled "X Politician": Record 50 episodes about "what really happens behind the primaries scenes", and describe your entire journey as a "profound conceptual shift" rather than a crushing defeat.
4. Sign up for reality show: Prove to everyone that surviving on a deserted island is easier than surviving debates at party central committee meetings.
5. Open a strategic consulting firm: Sell new candidates all your tips and insights on "how to run a winning campaign", naturally without mentioning your own final result.
6. Recover lost sleep: Return to sleep eight hours a night instead of racing between house gatherings, conferences, and exhausting discussions at the studios.
![Uber Driver [No connection to the article]](https://images.jfeed.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,fit=contain,width=6720,quality=80/2025/11/28/188de670-cc53-11f0-abe5-f9350fd74ef2__h4480_w6720.jpg)
7. Write an autobiography: Publish a bestseller titled "The World Isn't Ready for Me Yet", and distribute it as a gift to supportive activists who haven't yet left the WhatsApp or Facebook groups.
8. Retrain as a taxi driver: Continue talking about politics, current events, and the state of the nation all day long, but this time Make some money from talking along the main road instead of the political way.
9. Start a TikTok channel for political humor: Leverage your public relations experience to upload viral videos mocking the embarrassing moments of Knesset members.
10. Begin preparing for the next primaries: Rest for two days, then immediately start visiting all your family members, neighbors, and acquaintances again in preparation for your next attempt to become a knesset member.
Good luck!
