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He's right and he's wrong

Rabbi Efrem Goldberg: "If it takes more than a day to clean for Pesach, you're spring cleaning, not Pesach cleaning"

Is he right? Are we making our lives much harder than they need to be, and sacrificing our family's enjoyment of this special holiday.

Matzo, decorated with almond flowers

Rabvbi Efrem Goldberg is a phenomenal educator from Boca Raton. In 2017, he wrote an excellent article about getting ready for Pesach.

Here's some of what he said:

"Sadly, many people associate Pesach with backbreaking work, exorbitant expenses, endless preparation. Many describe themselves as rolling into Pesach ‘like a shmatta,’ unable to enjoy the festive atmosphere, meaningful Sedarim, or even quality time with friends and family.  The consequences of this attitude, don't just impact us, they negatively influence our children and those around us."

He adds that Pesach cleaning has been replaced with spring cleaning, which actually damages our kids' excitement for the holiday.

" If one is moving a refrigerator, oven, or any other heavy appliance, he is spring cleaning, not preparing for Pesach ... Make no mistake, this substitution of spring-cleaning instead of Pesach preparation comes at a great cost and it will likely hurt our community’s attitude towards Pesach in the future. Rather than enter Pesach excited, enthusiastic, and energized to spend time with family and share divrei Torah at our Sedarim, we are increasingly becoming resentful and negative about being observant and burdened by Pesach."

It reminds me Abie Rotenberg's song "I've got the here come Pesach blues." It's a kid's song about a Jewish mom getting ready for Pesach, and in the lyrics, it says, "A Jewish woman's gotta pay her dues." Even though I'm pretty sure it was intended tongue-in-cheek, it came under fire years ago for portraying Pesach prep as difficult and unpleasant.

Here's where Rabbi Goldberg's right:

1. We definitely go way overboard when it comes to getting ready for Pesach. And I'm not even talking about those people who don't sell their chometz.

2. A woman isn't supposed to come to the seder broken and angry and even bitter from the craziness of pre-Pesach prep. It's not good for anyone.

Here's where he's wrong.

1. Unless your house is a 3X3 museum, Pesach is definitely going to take you more than a day. Ask anyone who has ever prepared for Pesach. Just cleaning out the fridge and the oven takes hours and hours, and then there's the kashering the sinks and covering surfaces. That's at least a day. Seriously.

So what practical things can we do to make Pesach prep easier?

1. Start early, don't leave it too late because that's guaranteed to make you stressed and insane.

2. Get help. If you afford it, hire cleaning help. If not, rope in your kids. They're more capable than you think, and taking them out for Pizza and ice cream or burgers or sushi is way cheaper than hiring cleaning help. Plus it's actually good for them to pitch in. It's good for the family that the mission of Pesach doesn't fall solely on the mom. And it's good for everyone if mom isn't stressed out of her mind.

3. Read Rabbi Goldberg's letter and consult your local Orthodox Rabbi about what's a stringency and what's actually the halacha, and make a real choice for your family about what stringencies you want to adopt (and what stringencies are going to cause more harm than good)? You will likely be very surprised and relieved from his answers.

4. Spring clean after Pesach.

Rabbi Goldberg finishes his letter beautifully:

"Pesach, more than any other holiday or time of year, is designed to communicate our values, priorities and lifestyles to the next generation. Pesach, and the days leading up to it, should leave our children with sights, smells, flavors, traditions, and experiences they will draw from and seek to emulate in their own homes for the rest of their lives. It should provide memories and recollections that will inspire and charge the next generation in their Judaism and commitment to the beauty of a Torah lifestyle."

But it can't do that if we are so busy with spring cleaning and stringencies that we arrive at the seder exhausted and resentful.

Here's to happy and easy Pesach cleaning.
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