Your 16-year-old has been in Yeshiva for years, and all you know about his life is… pizza.
You ask “How was Yeshiva?” — “Fine.”
“How’s the Chavrusa?” — “Fine.”
Meanwhile he’s running the Thursday night Mishmar, texting paragraphs (with emojis!) to his married sister, and laughing with the guys at 1 a.m.
So why does everybody get your child except you?
In this video, Rabbi Yosef Farhi explains why “fine” is the only answer your question has. To a teenager it isn’t a conversation, it’s an interview. Then he gives 5 practical ways to get your son to open up:
1️⃣ Change the question: ask about his world, not for a report on himself
2️⃣ Ask him for real help, and let him be the expert
3️⃣ Stop asking, start noticing: statements instead of questions
4️⃣ Meet him in his hours: the late-night kitchen
5️⃣ Don’t pounce: let it sit, and follow up tomorrow
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 “Nothing is happening in his life”
1:04 The mother’s sources
2:20 Why does everybody get my child except me?
2:49 It’s not a conversation, it’s an interview
3:06 Your teen is a security system
3:42 #1 Change the question
4:13 #2 Ask him for help
4:34 #3 Stop asking, start noticing
4:50 #4 Go to him in his hours
5:18 #5 Don’t pounce
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