Public Proposals With Ring May Require Get, Rabbi Warns

A custom originating in secular society is penetrating haredi courtship practices and could open a complex halachic minefield. In an announcement published by the Marriage, Kashrut and Rabbinate Division of the Ministry of Religious Services following a special study session for marriage registrars from the southern district, a serious warning was revealed from Beer Sheva's Chief Rabbi, Gaon Rabbi Avraham Deri.

According to Rabbi Deri, marriage proposals in which the groom gives a ring to the bride in the presence of friends or family members could raise a serious halachic question if the groom decides to retract the proposal. In such a situation, the couple may be required to arrange a proper get.

Rabbi Avraham Deri at the study session (Photo: Ministry of Religious Services)

The warning was raised at a study session held for marriage registrars in the southern region, aimed at raising awareness of the complex halachic issue created when customs from general society are adopted in the haredi community without thorough halachic examination.

When Does a Street Proposal Become Binding Betrothal?

The Ministry of Religious Services emphasizes that the issue is not sweeping but depends hermetically on the precise circumstances of each individual case. Three central factors determine whether a marriage proposal can be considered halachic betrothal:

The wording: The precise manner in which the words were spoken determines the halachic intent. If the groom used language parallel to kiddushin, "Behold you are betrothed to me" or a similar expression, this could create actual kiddushin.
Delivery of the ring: The physical manner in which the ring was given into the bride's hand is halachically significant. Direct delivery into her hand, similar to kiddushin, makes the situation more stringent.
Status of witnesses: The presence and halachic status of observing friends or relatives who fulfill the conditions of testimony, two valid witnesses who see and hear the act, could transform the proposal into valid kiddushin.

The Ministry of Religious Services notes that when these three conditions are met cumulatively, a complex halachic situation is created in which kiddushin may have occurred according to law, even if the original intention was only a romantic marriage proposal.

Rabbinical Court building in Petach Tikva. "A marriage pattern designed for failure" (Photo: Yehuda Glickman)

In any case of doubt, the system unequivocally emphasizes: one must rely on authorized halachic ruling and immediately consult a rabbi or authorized marriage registrar before taking an irreversible step. The directive stresses that there is no room for leniency in this matter, and each case requires individual halachic examination.

The warning joins a broader trend of raising halachic awareness among the public regarding issues created as a result of adopting customs from general society.

Israeli rabbis have long warned against blind imitation of customs foreign to traditional Jewish culture, especially when dealing with sensitive matters such as betrothal and divorce.

Rabbi Avraham Deri, who serves as Chief Rabbi of Beer Sheva, received Supreme Court approval for his position after the High Court rejected a petition seeking to annul the results of the city's rabbinate elections. The court ruled that the election process was conducted properly and that no fault was found in the work of the Ministry of Religious Services.