"I Didn't Feel Liberated, I Felt Ashamed": Hadassa Ben Ari Opens Up About Post-Divorce Struggles
Hadassa Ben Ari breaks her silence on her divorce from Hanan Ben Ari and the painful process of removing her headcovering. Read her honest account of identity, faith, and learning to love herself again.
Author and creator Hadassa Ben Ari has offered a rare and vulnerable look into her personal journey following her high-profile divorce from singer Hanan Ben Ari. In a candid interview with the HaDor leaflet, she addressed one of her most significant identity shifts: the decision to stop wearing a headcovering (mitpachat).
The Weight of the Veil
For Ben Ari, the headcovering was more than just a garment; it was a constant part of her identity since her marriage. "There is nothing like a headcovering - it possesses an nobility and beauty that is out of this world," she shared, adding with a smile, "for those who know how to tie it properly, of course."
She revealed that throughout her marriage, she rarely saw her own hair. "Like a good Sephardic woman, I only blessed and prayed while wearing it, so I only took it off late at night."
Beyond the Myth of "Freedom"
Contrary to the common narrative that removing a headcovering is an act of liberation, Ben Ari described the transition in terms of pain and loss. She noted that parting with her marriage meant a forced parting from the headcovering, a process she found deeply difficult.
"I didn't feel liberation; I felt insulted, disgraced, and ashamed," she confessed. For her, the sudden exposure felt like a loss of the "nobility" she had associated with the covering for years.
A New Reconciliation
Despite the initial feelings of shame, Ben Ari describes a gradual process of self-acceptance and a newfound appreciation for her appearance. This re-encounter with a part of herself that remained hidden for so long has led to a different kind of love.
"I love my hair today like I never loved it before," she concluded. However, she remains open to what the future holds, expressing a sense of curiosity about her evolving identity: "I’m curious to know how I’ll feel when I put the whole 'construction' back on when the time comes."