Rav Moshe Hillel Hirsch on Modesty, Dignity, and the New Questions Facing Our Seminaries

In a heartfelt and open conversation caught on video, Rabbi Moshe Hillel Hirsch, a leading figure in the Haredi world and head of Yeshivat Slabodka in Bnei Brak, sat down with Rabbi Yechiel Meir Zucker, a well-regarded lecturer and seminary director. They talked about the real-life challenges of guiding young women in religious seminaries today, covering everything from how to dress modestly yet stylishly, the pitfalls of certain music, and the rising trend of girls planning their own Shabbat hangouts with friends.

Kikar HaShabbat shared the full video and transcript for the first time, giving a glimpse into how Haredi educators are thoughtfully balancing tradition with the pressures of modern life. Rabbi Zucker, who handles day-to-day educational programs, came to Rabbi Hirsch's home with a list of tough questions from parents and staff.

He explained the goal of seminaries: to inspire girls to aim high and build strong, Torah-based families. "We do this gently, through classes on Jewish outlook where they can ask questions and get real answers," he said. "But there's so much pull from the outside world, even in our own neighborhoods like Bnei Brak. Do we push for total separation—like strict rules on music styles or super-conservative clothing? Or does that just make us seem over-the-top, so when it comes to key halakhic issues, the girls tune us out?"

Rabbi Hirsch listened closely and stressed the need to avoid going too far. "We definitely don't want rules that won't stick," he replied.

On music, he was clear: some types are just too wild and non-Jewish, clashing with a girl's spiritual growth and natural grace. "We have to help the girls see how it holds back their inner refinement, it's at odds with who they truly are."

When it came to clothing, though, he took a more flexible stance. "A woman can look nice, even following current trends, as long as it's modest," he said. "Keep it balanced, not too much of anything. We can ease up a bit on style, but never on modesty. It doesn't have to look dull; it can be pretty, respectful, and modest all at once. Beauty and modesty go hand in hand, unless it's something that screams for attention. A touch of elegance is perfectly fine, but music is another story."

Rabbi Zucker dug deeper into today's music scene, pointing out that the problem isn't just the rowdy stuff; it's also the emotional songs with lyrics borrowed from secular love themes, which can mix up feelings and even lead to down moods.

Rabbi Hirsch nodded and suggested teaching it thoughtfully. "Explain how music really touches the soul, in subtle ways," he advised. "People might confuse it for holy inspiration toward God, but often it's not. This isn't new, 70 years ago, certain tunes were off-limits for the same reasons. Break it down intellectually: show how music shapes a person's inner world, and how easy it is to mix things up. We need to be extra careful, guiding which kinds are okay. But talk to the girls with respect: this is deep stuff, not just orders; it's about helping them understand from within."

They also touched on modesty, drawing from the classic idea that "a princess's true honor is inward." Rabbi Zucker mentioned old-school extremes, like Moabite women staying home entirely. Rabbi Hirsch clarified the essence: "It's about not drawing eyes, avoid loud talking, heated arguments, or walking in a showy way. Modesty means a girl isn't out to impress strangers; that's saved for her future husband and family, not the public."

A big part of the chat focused on the popular "Shabbat with friends" trend, where groups of girls organize sleepovers or outings. Rabbi Zucker described the ups and downs: seminary-run retreats are organized and positive, but solo trips can lead to mistakes in Shabbat observance or spiritual slips. Parents sometimes complain it's too restrictive, especially when boys get more leeway, adding to the social tug-of-war.

Rabbi Hirsch saw it as something out of step with Jewish tradition. "Girls belong at their father's Shabbat table, we didn't grow up with this idea of them heading off on their own," he said. "It's a recent thing that's caught on, and even with a chaperone to handle the halachic side, it skips the heart of family learning, the father's songs, his Torah thoughts, time with siblings. That's real Jewish warmth."

He recommended not banning it outright to avoid pushback, but downplaying it instead: "Gently dismiss it as not ideal. Say it's missing the family spirit, our sages wouldn't have favored it. Stress celebrating Shabbat at home with loved ones."

Wrapping up, Rabbi Zucker asked for a blessing for parents. Rabbi Hirsch offered this: "Raising kids today is tough, figuring out when to hold firm and when to give in. May God give every parent the help from above to find the right balance for each girl, the wisdom to see it, and the strength to follow through. Amen."

This exchange shows how ultra-Orthodox education is adapting, with leaders like Rabbi Hirsch promoting smart, understanding ways to hold onto values amid change. It's a reminder of the community's focus on guiding the next generation with care and depth.